What ALL I realized wading through my twenties!

“Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts”

Most of us had that point in life, when this quote and many of its likes it made sense.

Growing up sucks, I admit. It is better to live without responsibilities, a carefree life. You have no one to answer to, and losing & gaining is a part and parcel of the road to a perfect life.

But as I am into the 23rd year of my happy life, nowadays I feel good about growing up. I used to abhor the fact that I’m no longer a kid, to be pampered by people or the feeling that I can’t do inane activities while in front of people. But growing up has its own happy part. Things that I have learnt and realized make me feel happier, and much more why it is known as growing up.

1. Listen to the conscience, it speaks: Nothing can guide you like the little voice inside your head. And nothing can save you, like your instinct. When they speak, pay heed.

2. Never be afraid to speak your mind: If you feel strongly about something, speak up, act.

3. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever: The ones who truly matter, will anyhow manage to stay. And when people leave, there’ll be a reason to it. The reason you may not realize sooner, but definitely, at some time later, it’ll be clear.

4. Stay in touch: Family and friends are the ones who’ll be there forever. No support matches the support of family, and the love of true friends. Be thankful for them, and be for them when they need you.

5. Be grateful: Life is not bad, it is beautiful. God is wonderful. Live a thankful life, for God has bestowed some of the best things on you. Things you might not notice every now and then, things you take for granted.

6. It is okay to be a kid: We all were kids once, it is our basic nature. We learn to grow up. Don’t let the kid in you die. That innocence and jest makes your eyes sparkle, and life happier to deal with.

7. You are not born to please everyone: It is abs-effing-olutely OKAY if some people don’t like you. There’ll always be people who will have a problem with everything you do. It is fine if they do, they don’t know your life or you.

8. Never rush to grow up: Everything has its own time, and happens at its own pace. Doing things that make you look grow up, is not cool. Neither is doing drugs or smoking. They still kill. Never be in a hurry to portray yourself as a “grown up”. It is not a mask to be worn, it comes with maturity of thoughts. If you’re a baby at heart, be that. Don’t be coerced by others’ “grown up” activities.

9. Never forget your roots: Everything that taught you something when you were a kid, will always have its impact on your psyche. Remember it always. Parents are not your enemies, they never were. They just know better, they grew up like we did – on the same path. But their lives were simpler. Listen to them, respect them and always be thankful to them.

10. Be human: Compassion is our natural instinct. Respect the elders and the kids. They need care. Help people. Reach out to poor and the downtrodden. We are all leaves on the same tree.

11. Get over the past: There was a reason it did not make it to your present. Believe in that, and move on. Living in the past, and moping on it, will only make you sadder. You deserve to be happy, at each second. Forget the past and look forward to better things that are on the way.

12. Don’t judge people: Eccentric is nothing, and a reason shapes everything and everyone. There might be a reason why people did something, a story unknown to us.

13. Sing if you like to: You don’t have to be born A R Rahman, Lata Mangeshkar, Lana Del Rey or Eminem. If you love singing and like your voice, trust me, it’s more than enough. Sing to your heart’s content.

14. Don’t gossip: It never did anything good, never will.

15. Have a hobby: Yes, and facebook-ing is NOT one. It is a total waste of time, admit it. Sing, read, dance, write, be into gardening, pottery, and paper-making. Pick up anything that suits you, and indulge in it. It will leave you much happier at the end of a rough day.

16. Give up grousing: Bad days come so you learn to appreciate the good ones, and carping never helps. Days brighten on their own. Keep a smile, and spread many more. Every problem you face will have a solution to it!

17. It is okay if your friends, neighbors, cousins, juniors from school et al are getting married, and you’re still single: Yes it absolutely is. You can still smile, dance on their weddings before you get hitched and have to go for weddings as the ‘Missus’!

18. Shopping is fun: If you love clothes, go on a spree! No qualms on that. But be mindful of your spending habits. It’s not a problem to please your own self, but be thrifty. You know when you actually need something. And yes, once in a few months, a shopping spree doesn’t kill!

19. De-clutter: Your house, thoughts and life. Keep only what is needed. Too many things in your house and your mind thwart growth. Clothes, memories and grudges with people who let you down at some point earlier – you don’t have to live with those forever. Keep it less and simple! Live it light.

20. Keep your mind happy: Sad thoughts pull one down. Don’t let others’ behavior affect yours. It is a ripple effect, one sad thought, followed by many others - you become sad for the entire day. Don’t let your thoughts go unbridled. Half of what we think as our problems, barely even exists; it is all in the mind! The more negative we think, the more worried we make ourselves. It is very essential to live in the present! Live this moment, with much mirth.

21. It is okay to be by yourself at times – We need time to organize our thoughts. One does not need to be clinging to anybody and anything at every moment of the day. Also, take a break from the T.V., laptop, the smartphone matey. Breathe fresh air, smell the rain, enjoy a cup of coffee by yourself.

22. Never stop learning: Life is a teacher, so are books. There’s no paucity of anything to be learnt. Whatever be it - an art, craft, technology, a new language, take it up!

23. Take responsibility for all your actions: We are humans, beautiful in our imperfections. Admit mistakes, apologize when needed and carry a light heart. It is necessary to own up to our mistakes, even if it invites criticism from others.

24. Be a good friend: We come across a lot of wonderful people as we walk through life. Some of them become a part of our heart and soul. Friends make us happy, brighten lives and be with us whenever we need them. If they make us feel so good, don’t we deserve to be one! Even if it’s just some moments of your time, or just a shoulder to cry or an ear to listen, never deny someone who needs you. Listen to people, make them feel good about themselves!

25. There is still a lot to learn. Life is a beautiful gift, and God is watching over you! You are luckier than you can think, and yes you are awesome! :)

That little voice inside the head!

A or B, A or B, B or A !!!????!!!??

Should I be doing this or not!!?!???!!?

Lots of questions in life which need an answer, quite a number of choices to be made. Sometimes (most of the times) there is a small voice coming from the heart, or soul, or mind whatever you call it, which warns you from taking a jump. We are faced with tortuous moments, needing an urgent decision to be made, and a small voice helps make the decision.

And a later point, we realize how happy we were to have taken that decision. I’m sure this happens to most of us. Call it intuition, or instinct, the ladies – or the fairer sex have stronger one!

Right from smaller incidents in daily life to dire situations, there is a little voice guiding us all. Call its God’s way of speaking to us when faced with tough situations, or his way of indicating that something doesn’t bode well, God’s guidance never leaves us. No matter how hazy the path looks, the way will never be lost.

God is always there, as (s)He has always been.



A tribute to a dying nation

Ours is a young nation, beautiful and replete with natural beauty and cultural heritage. 60 years from independence, we look at how far we have come. The developments that have taken place. Something to make us all proud. Very proud.

Looking deeper, a part of the society is still in darkness. While the urban locales are budding with improvised standard of living, better jobs, higher number of educational institutions, better equipped with the latest equipment in industry, better health facilities and faster development, the rural parts are still in ruins. Not much help has been meted out to the remote areas; they are still places without proper supply of drinking water, devoid of electricity, sanitation and good health facilities. Unemployment and lack of education is eating the people of our own nation. The vicious cycle of poverty, lack of education and unemployment is leading the rural part of our nation nowhere.

That is just the beginning. The nation today is in peril not only because of poverty or unemployment, but because of corruption that aims at taking down the entire nation. A bad judicial system, illiterate "leaders" heading the states of our nation and the number of scams to which the resources which can otherwise be used for upliftment of the State fall prey to, are a few of the factors.

Every day, the news is outlined with cases of crimes against women. Be it an acid attack or honor killing or murder or rape or female infanticide. It was heartening to see the whole of Delhi erupt in protest of the ghastly crime on 16th December. But again, the system promised to look into the case, promised that justice would be served. Words remained on paper, the nation is back to where it was, and justice remains shrouded.

Lack of education could have been blamed for the rise in such crimes. But again, lack of apathy and the paucity of sanity and compassion cannot be steered away from imparting education. These are something innate, inbred in every individual. The society is ruled with monsters roaming around having no thought, just clear indifference towards the rest of people living in the society. And to top it all, the insufficient political and judicial systems are taking the country to deeper levels of downfall.

Where are we heading? Where is the unity and peace, Gandhi dreamt of? Is this the cost of living in a nation, whose freedom was bought at the price of the lives of martyrs like Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev? A nation, whose name used to make us proud about being an Indian, now brings upon us, at least on me, utter shame. Baby girls are getting raped savagely, girls can’t walk safely during any time of the day, the poor are tormented, people from lower echelons of the society are mistreated like they are outcasts, people standing up for truth get killed, and the truth gets twisted and turned and in the end gets bought for a sum of money. A nation where justice, in some cases, takes years and years to come; Where political parties play on humans and cause schisms in the society; Where people are valued less and avarice blinds the conscience of people; Where nowadays not even a baby girl is safe; Where a rape victim is victimized, while the culprits walk scott free. And in the worst case, the cases get closed and victim is lost in anonymity sans justice. Sad is our plight.

The police force set up for our protection, turns out to be the biggest tormentor. It's members all living for money. Police blames the victim of any crime for the crime, and fails when it comes to catching the perpetrators. If the culprits are caught, the judicial system delays the case and takes months and years of time for trial and a sentence to the wrong doers. In such a case, where do we see hope?

No society is perfect; crime and anarchy have existed since old, old times. But our society is falling to its destruction. Anarchy is taking over. No matter how uneducated the people in a society are, it doesn’t account for barbaric and unrelenting behavior towards ones’ own fellow beings. And even worse are the people who make merry when a part of the society is suffering, and use it for their own benefit.

Last November as the 21st approached, we were talking about the world ending. Many people anticipated that as well, others were afraid of it ending. Amidst that, none of us saw that the world did end. A world filled with joy, humanity, compassion and hope. Now all we have is a world around us sans all these, a place which is plagued with discomfort and apathy. Where people revel in accruing benefits from crime, where females are unsafe and not respected and where children can’t laugh hard and play in joy.

PS: I have focused too much on the dark side; I know that goodness in the society still exists. But we need to know that a major part of our society is at strife. People are suffering. This was just a reflection of the saddening events from our daily national life.

The ugly Indian

Venue: the central bus stand, Chennai

What: a wall, quite old or maybe not that. Just that the remnants of betel leave eaters makes it look shoddy. Very dirty indeed. And needless to say the smell of urine reeking from such public places makes the sight unbearable.

Come rains, major parts of the city can be seen flooded with dirty water with garbage once dumped by the roads, floating on it. We knowingly unknowingly become the part of “nation trashers!” Nation, yes indeed! Because the dirty streets, paan spewed roads, garbage filled nook and corners, leaking pipes, unmanned holes and public urination places are a national shame!

For the international visitors to India, India is a land of beauty and a close alliance to nature. But the truth doesn’t lie concealed – nor does the dirt on the streets, the garbage dumped by roadside which houses flies and feral dogs, and the public urination places leave any stone unturned to lessen the beauty.

I feel the NGOs and various committees which organize volunteered beach cleaning, road sweeping events et al do a very commendable and respectable job. The act is a paradigm of success and togetherness at behest of a person’s own will. For not many have the thought of giving back to the society. But again no matter umpteen times the streets are cleaned, the beaches have respite from the plastic and dirt shrouding their beauty, nothing ever changes. It is all back to the drawing board.

It’s time we realize that we have been brought up with the sloppy mentality, the art of keeping our homes clean at the price of dumping trash on the roads and the street corners. It is not the streets, the corners and the beach walk ways which need a sweeping; it is the minds of our very own people. The dirt settled in one’s mindset needs a scraping, for newer and better thoughts to settle there. The thoughts which will force us to think twice before we start littering our streets, with the wrappers of edibles we consume or the paper cups we use.

Why do we not think once before trashing our nation, but the same “we” when go abroad, would not even leave a paper bit on the nicely kempt streets there? Yes, the rules in most foreign countries would ask you to own up even your dog’s poop, let alone leaving you get away with not using the trash bins. If our government can’t come up with such stringent rules, should not we take up the task of being responsible in the li’l ways we could!? There is a lot for the government to do, agreed, but there are still trifling things we can take care of.

By not littering our streets deliberately, to start with. There are dustbins at street corners; we can make use of those. We keep our living rooms spruce and clean, why dump the waste on a roadside and make our nation look sloppy?

Nobody needs to start sweeping the streets or start whitewashing dirty walls, at least we could check ourselves when we are unconsciously or in many cases consciously litter the places outside. We ourselves show a tepid interest in the betterment of our nation, then hell should we expect foreigners coming as tourists to appreciate it. They write about India being hot, polluted, and having beggars wandering all around. True that. But why add more to the list. Doing the small things from our sides would not be a Sisyphean task, then why not do it!?

A cleaner and greener India should not be a distant dream, let us all play our small roles towards bringing that out!



Why SMILE !?

Another day in our life, and we enter the workplace. We meet some faces looking dreary and doleful, right at the beginning of a new day! For some it’s Monday Morning, for others the look is cause of task from the previous day left undone and for some it may be personal problems. No blaming people, for it’s the circumstances! We all face such days! Who does not!?

But looking again, it’s a new opportunity, a chance to get things that weren’t working till yesterday straight in a different way.If we move around with a long face, failing to appreciate the good things in our lives, bored of the routine we go through, or the monotony of the jobs we perform, we are sure to lose joy and interest in our lives.

Whatever we have, is a result of the choices we made! At some point, the jobs we do, the places we go – it all depends on us! Lives change, situations change – but everything that remains with us reminds us of the choices we made. What we have today is something that kept us happy at some point in life.

A smile is a curve that sets a number of things straight – this has been one of my favorite quotes till date. And I surely believe it does. It can make someone else’s day a tad more brighter than usual, less murky than before and dwindle the seriousness of hard-hitting situations.

Don’t ever fail to smile! It might spread one on the face of someone who needs it archly. And moreover, it never costs anything! Does it!!??

And no matter how much towed you are, do ask yourself –



Have a happy day!

So far, but no so good…

Yes! Those are the words in which we can about sum the journey of India from pre-Independence through this era. It has been light years since that time period, since our great great great ancestor’s great great great grandfathers took part in the fight against the colonization of India by the British, and set our countrymen free from their shackles.

And through the years, we have seen the nation developing – be it in the field of agriculture, economics, space, nuclear science, transportation, education, technology, so on and so forth. Moving forward there was a slight improvement in the status of the females in the society. Why I said ‘slight’ has a reason. On one hand, we have come ahead of the time when the majority of Indian population was afflicted by the attitude of looking at a baby girl born as a burden on the family. Now women can walk freely in the society unlike the former days of purdah system and a rampant sati system. That’s something good. On the other hand, though we are living in a modern era, there are some parts of the nation, where female foeticide and infanticide is still prevalent and a widow is seen as a crestfallen human. So despite the education system growing, the rural parts are not reaping any of the benefits. They are still engulfed in the murkiness of past mind frames – the one which causes many mothers to abort their own child when they come to learn it is a girl, many families losing their daughters to the fiendish act of dowry, and surly statistics of the sex ratio in the nation, owing to the number of rapes, acid attacks, male rage acts and domestic violence crimes committed against the fairer sex. Today, the ladies in our nation have come ahead in every field and set an example for the other ladies to follow. Along with males, the females have conquered all arenas – be it service sector, entrepreneurship, entertainment, space, media and journalism, law – you name it – and some among us are already there. And the success gained by these ladies – Kiran Bedi, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Kalpana Chawla, Barkha Dutt, Lata Mangeshkar, Uma Mazumdar Shaw, Arundhati Roy to name a few – is huge and veritable. But that is the brighter side, and definitely something to take pride in.

But every day through the media, is exposed news of atrocities committed on the ladies in our society despite the advancement and milestones achieved in the past decades. We say we are growing, but daily there will be news of a female killed for dowry – her child gone motherless for the rest of its life. Every day we hear news about a slain couple – for the sake of their families’ honor. Does anybody think about the importance of the human life lost? Daily we hear how India is becoming unsafe for ladies by the day – how women irrespective if their ages are raped and their bodies shoved down a drain. Every day the media also misses a number of stories as to how a woman was beaten up by her husband or how a jilted lover threw acid on a girl to destroy her life. We bask in the glory of the pride earned by the famous ladies of our nation, but aren’t we missing out on the lives of the less fortunate ones. Every person born on Earth has the right to live a privileged life – then where do the males who commit atrocities on females, get that right from? Why can’t a woman moving on the street move around freely, without a lecherous glance from so called stronger males?! The strength of a male doesn’t depend on how brawny he is. It depends on how much of a protector he can be, how safe a female can be when around a man. His power doesn’t come when he can overpower a lady and take pride in her misery or haplessness – it comes when he is able to take her misery away, and make her feel protected. A father is the giver of life, he is supposed to protect his daughter – and not kill her in order to protect his “honor”. If the overall sex ratio of India in 2012 is 940 females to 1000 males, then it is mainly because of the ghastly crimes against women today, if we keep aside the lack of proper medical facilities and insufficient number of infirmaries in the rural areas and also if we rule out the suicide and post-birth deaths. The government owes its people a major fraction of the awareness spreading schemes, but a part of it can start from us. If only we move past the segregation between the sexes – we realize that we are all humans, with an infinite potential to achieve and prosper in life. There is nothing that a man can do, and a female can’t – that is the pettiness of out mindset that refuses to think past the male female separation. We need to rise above the pettiness, think of each of us as human – and put the inhumanness at a caesura. The males owe it to the ladies to be able to walk with pride and not ridden by shame. Women are at par with men today, but some souls find it hard on their hubris to take it. If women are at par with men (if not, they are only better – for they can give birth to a child, something a man would never ever be able to do – and it is something which makes a female a step ahead of a man), that is something a man in this nation, and around the globe should take pride in. And it is her who completes his family – as a daughter, as a sister, a friend, a wife and a mother. If the males take themselves to be the stronger sex, so be it – your strength should make it possible for you to protect the opposite sex, not torment them with it. There lies the real strength of a man. Together we can improve the quality of life in our otherwise developed India, and make it a happier and a better place!

The art and joy of giving!

The dawn gifts us with another beautiful day in the course of our life. The sky brightens with the sun shining to light the world, the azure sky smiles at the world with a flock of birds flying through and the plants look bright and green after the darkness took to a hiatus.

The nature puts forth a beautiful example of giving in front of us. The sun shines through the day and brightens and lightens the world evading darkness. The trees give fruits, and shade much as a succor from the blazing heat. The skies rain upon us filling the wells, and underground reservoirs to maintain an unremitting supply of water. The raining skies give relief to the dust and dirt-laden plants, giving them respite from the heat and pollution. It makes the world look beautiful and new!

And neither of the sun or the trees or the clouds expects anything in return of what they give us!

These are beautiful lessons from the ubiquitous parts of the natural life we come across daily, and seldom take notice of. Isn’t it beautiful?

Giving others from what we have indeed is a beautiful feeling, for what we give others may play a significant role in their lives! Quoting the writer Hafez who says, ‘Even after all this time The Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that, it lights up the whole sky.”’

Whatever we get in life becomes a privilege for us, we are thankful and proud owners of our health, wealth, jobs, assets, happiness, contentment et al. Giving a part of money we earn in no matter how wee an amount, helps the needy and spreads a smile in their life too.

What good comes from the joy of amassing wealth if we cannot share it with the penurious? Sharing happiness doubles the joy, it is said! Giving some of what we have to the destitute can help them in ways we might not know!

“What we earn makes a living, however what we give a life!”

Let nature teach us all the art of giving, and the joy trailing it.