So far, but no so good…

Yes! Those are the words in which we can about sum the journey of India from pre-Independence through this era. It has been light years since that time period, since our great great great ancestor’s great great great grandfathers took part in the fight against the colonization of India by the British, and set our countrymen free from their shackles.

And through the years, we have seen the nation developing – be it in the field of agriculture, economics, space, nuclear science, transportation, education, technology, so on and so forth. Moving forward there was a slight improvement in the status of the females in the society. Why I said ‘slight’ has a reason. On one hand, we have come ahead of the time when the majority of Indian population was afflicted by the attitude of looking at a baby girl born as a burden on the family. Now women can walk freely in the society unlike the former days of purdah system and a rampant sati system. That’s something good. On the other hand, though we are living in a modern era, there are some parts of the nation, where female foeticide and infanticide is still prevalent and a widow is seen as a crestfallen human. So despite the education system growing, the rural parts are not reaping any of the benefits. They are still engulfed in the murkiness of past mind frames – the one which causes many mothers to abort their own child when they come to learn it is a girl, many families losing their daughters to the fiendish act of dowry, and surly statistics of the sex ratio in the nation, owing to the number of rapes, acid attacks, male rage acts and domestic violence crimes committed against the fairer sex. Today, the ladies in our nation have come ahead in every field and set an example for the other ladies to follow. Along with males, the females have conquered all arenas – be it service sector, entrepreneurship, entertainment, space, media and journalism, law – you name it – and some among us are already there. And the success gained by these ladies – Kiran Bedi, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Kalpana Chawla, Barkha Dutt, Lata Mangeshkar, Uma Mazumdar Shaw, Arundhati Roy to name a few – is huge and veritable. But that is the brighter side, and definitely something to take pride in.

But every day through the media, is exposed news of atrocities committed on the ladies in our society despite the advancement and milestones achieved in the past decades. We say we are growing, but daily there will be news of a female killed for dowry – her child gone motherless for the rest of its life. Every day we hear news about a slain couple – for the sake of their families’ honor. Does anybody think about the importance of the human life lost? Daily we hear how India is becoming unsafe for ladies by the day – how women irrespective if their ages are raped and their bodies shoved down a drain. Every day the media also misses a number of stories as to how a woman was beaten up by her husband or how a jilted lover threw acid on a girl to destroy her life. We bask in the glory of the pride earned by the famous ladies of our nation, but aren’t we missing out on the lives of the less fortunate ones. Every person born on Earth has the right to live a privileged life – then where do the males who commit atrocities on females, get that right from? Why can’t a woman moving on the street move around freely, without a lecherous glance from so called stronger males?! The strength of a male doesn’t depend on how brawny he is. It depends on how much of a protector he can be, how safe a female can be when around a man. His power doesn’t come when he can overpower a lady and take pride in her misery or haplessness – it comes when he is able to take her misery away, and make her feel protected. A father is the giver of life, he is supposed to protect his daughter – and not kill her in order to protect his “honor”. If the overall sex ratio of India in 2012 is 940 females to 1000 males, then it is mainly because of the ghastly crimes against women today, if we keep aside the lack of proper medical facilities and insufficient number of infirmaries in the rural areas and also if we rule out the suicide and post-birth deaths. The government owes its people a major fraction of the awareness spreading schemes, but a part of it can start from us. If only we move past the segregation between the sexes – we realize that we are all humans, with an infinite potential to achieve and prosper in life. There is nothing that a man can do, and a female can’t – that is the pettiness of out mindset that refuses to think past the male female separation. We need to rise above the pettiness, think of each of us as human – and put the inhumanness at a caesura. The males owe it to the ladies to be able to walk with pride and not ridden by shame. Women are at par with men today, but some souls find it hard on their hubris to take it. If women are at par with men (if not, they are only better – for they can give birth to a child, something a man would never ever be able to do – and it is something which makes a female a step ahead of a man), that is something a man in this nation, and around the globe should take pride in. And it is her who completes his family – as a daughter, as a sister, a friend, a wife and a mother. If the males take themselves to be the stronger sex, so be it – your strength should make it possible for you to protect the opposite sex, not torment them with it. There lies the real strength of a man. Together we can improve the quality of life in our otherwise developed India, and make it a happier and a better place!

The art and joy of giving!

The dawn gifts us with another beautiful day in the course of our life. The sky brightens with the sun shining to light the world, the azure sky smiles at the world with a flock of birds flying through and the plants look bright and green after the darkness took to a hiatus.

The nature puts forth a beautiful example of giving in front of us. The sun shines through the day and brightens and lightens the world evading darkness. The trees give fruits, and shade much as a succor from the blazing heat. The skies rain upon us filling the wells, and underground reservoirs to maintain an unremitting supply of water. The raining skies give relief to the dust and dirt-laden plants, giving them respite from the heat and pollution. It makes the world look beautiful and new!

And neither of the sun or the trees or the clouds expects anything in return of what they give us!

These are beautiful lessons from the ubiquitous parts of the natural life we come across daily, and seldom take notice of. Isn’t it beautiful?

Giving others from what we have indeed is a beautiful feeling, for what we give others may play a significant role in their lives! Quoting the writer Hafez who says, ‘Even after all this time The Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that, it lights up the whole sky.”’

Whatever we get in life becomes a privilege for us, we are thankful and proud owners of our health, wealth, jobs, assets, happiness, contentment et al. Giving a part of money we earn in no matter how wee an amount, helps the needy and spreads a smile in their life too.

What good comes from the joy of amassing wealth if we cannot share it with the penurious? Sharing happiness doubles the joy, it is said! Giving some of what we have to the destitute can help them in ways we might not know!

“What we earn makes a living, however what we give a life!”

Let nature teach us all the art of giving, and the joy trailing it.

No gratitude here!

I still remember vividly, during my childhood - I just had two simple endeavors. Either to be what my parents wanted me to be – a doctor. Or to be what thought I will be in love with - a teacher. Today I am neither of these.

The reason for not going on the path to medicine had its own reason. And the aim to be a teacher was done away, I don’t know why. A derelict plan it remains.

During my years as a sprat, I loved the idea of reading out aloud in a class full of dolls, writing on the chalkboard, signing the li’l notes, caning for fighting…and what not! I sorely miss those days, when I dreamt of moving ahead and taking classes for children, and not elfin dolls and teddies.

 

As I came to pass high school, I remember one of my friends telling me, “I am never ever even going to think about being a teacher.” Upon being asked why, came the rapid reply “Bohot gaalian khane ko milti hai!!” (You get to face a lot of abuse from the children, maybe not face to face, but yes definitely behind your back).

If it could be true six years back, the conditions have only become worse now. The appalling act by a 9th grade student in Chennai stabbing his teacher to death comes as shock to the entire nation.

 

We look forward to someone to put the blame on – the student, the rich parents of his, the school or the teacher who did nothing but performed her duty.

And true to the fact, now the takers for such a lowly paid and impudent (Yes, very much) job will definitely abate.

The perks associated with this job aren’t vey great, neither is the pay! But most of the people who opt for it do it because of their proclivity towards children. It isn’t a small task to do such a job, and especially if the teacher is dedicated in his/her efforts, their efforts go unacknowledged. It isn’t no sweat to look after 25-30 students in a class, teach them, make sure they have understood, to be strict when needed, correct their mistakes, and in the end to bear the brunt of the children as well as the parents.

Unlike other professions, teaching invariably requires oodles of patience, and there is no selfishness attached. Or at least there is some selflessness attached. Like parenting, teachers also play a major role in moulding a child’s future.

There are plenty of things my teachers have taught in life. Not all the teachers have had the same impact, but all have had some and some have had verily a much bigger impact.

Where I stand today, it is just not because of the school I went to, or the way my parents have brought me up, but also because of what I have learnt from my teachers back at school. I’m not talking about Math equations, or chemical equations or Physics laws. Even the university professors fail to gain a footing over what school teachers teach you. Every teacher is human, and does instill values in a child.

The ghastly murder of a teacher who took her job as her passion, has taken away all faith in people who think about opting for teaching as a profession. It has become a job which barely has any respect attached with it these days, and PTMs being the days when the teacher has to face the ire of parents for “not explaining notes clearly, or being fast, or being strict…”

I just have one question. Where is gratitude in this era??

Long gone are the days when a Guru was hallowed. Gone are the days when a teacher or a Guru was considered on an equal footing as parents. No matter how strict a teacher used to be, there was no rancor in the student’s heart. On being scolded in front of a class, feeling bad was normal, nowadays it has been adumbrated by the feeling of humiliation. How many students to be specific – middle school students have committed suicide in the past one year itself?

What is to be ashamed of if your teacher scolds you? Childhood blossoms with innocence, ego breeds only with age. But the scene today is dismal. They grow up as brats pampered by their parents and with their whims and fancies catered to. How can brats who hail from families who have only pampered them, grow up to be individuals in such a world? They need sagacity to live life up and it is a requisite to use their gumption to survive. Affluent grooming and an ostentatious lifestyle may just make you comfortable in your tiny little gory hole. But life doesn’t pass that way; it has always been and will always be a rat race. And only the fittest survive.

Fitness comes not only from physical strength. Mental strength is equally important to garner verve to live life. And proper grooming of one as a child gives that! Parents are the ideal choices for their children; they have to prove to be the best role models ever. Proper upbringing of children plays a vital role of how a child behaves when (s)he is not under her/his parents’ nose.

Parentship is no cakewalk either, but a balance between love and pampering had to be maintained. Loving a child, and never saying a NO to his/ her fancies does not really do much good to his/her growth. It only hampers it in a way and is perilous for the society too. History stands proof

An ounce of optimism..!!

Back at home, I always happen to hear these lines from my sister:

“Li’l bird in the sky,

Dropping shit into your eye,

You don’t worry, you don’t cry,

Just thank God that cows don’t fly.”

Cute, aint it? Or personally I feel so :)

Every time I feel there is something bothering me and taking away a major part of my attention (undeservingly, though), I find these lines really buoyant to keep myself from fretting over the smaller things in life. I strongly believe that everything in life is a part of a Higher plan, and that everything that happens has a reason to it. Life has its own set of ups and downs, for every scorching summer is followed by the monsoon and the winter comes with a promise that spring would follow soon.

Life is beautiful, and happens just once. All of us have many promises to keep and a lot of dreams to fulfill, but the biggest promise to keep is a promise to be happy, and to keep others happy. As it goes, life comes as a circle, whatever you give comes back with a full swing! So, don’t worry about things which went wrong in the past, for better things await you in future. Being optimistic helps us move the petty things out of our sight and lets the bigger picture come into our view. For, we all live with the hope that life is always changing, nothing is permanent, not even the tough times. An optimist might not win the race, but he surely has a happier journey.

I truly believe that life never gives you something you can’t handle. If it is good, it’s wonderful…if it’s bad, call it experience :). Both help you grow through life, and are essential. So, next time you see yourself passing through a dark tunnel, don’t close your eyes, just move ahead, for you’ll definitely find light at the end of the tunnel.

All is well :)

Mother…working MAGIK!              
20 years back: whooo…what is this all around me, I see people moving and smiling, different shades of white teeth showing up at a distance, I’m terrified, and here I go, crying and dirtying the place. I see a lady; she picks me up, smiles and clothes me lovingly. I feel better and go to sleep.

17 years back: wow!! It’s my birthday party as my parents say it is. I see a large cake with Mickey mouse’s face. I have a lot of gifts around me. Some dolls, a few teddies, new clothes, and a train set. :) I was playing hide and seek with Ayan and Devika, when there is a power cut. I see a petite monster moving towards me making a bad noise….MAMMAAA!!!! And she comes and lifts Ayan’s mask… I hate him. She clutches me in her warm hands; I like the feeling when she is around me.

10 years back: My friends and I plan for a movie. This is the first time I will be going without my parents. I ask her for permission. She seems disgruntled with our plan, but I am not taking a NO!! They are my friends after all. I am ready for a fight; she sees I am ready to burst into tears after all the fighting. Finally I have her assent. Wohoo!

6 years back: What on earth does she want? It was just a late night movie and a sleepover. Why can’t people take things the way they are. She is incessantly blowing it out of proportion. I am a grown up now. I can live my life my way!! When will she understand!!?

5 years back: I have my board exams in less than a month. Staying awake till 2 a.m. and beyond that’s the routine. But hey, she’s there awake, waiting to give me a cup of coffee whenever I need it. I think she’s doing it overly now, I mean, come on!! But anyway!

4 years back: I’m in at a new place. Whew!! Miss my school and friends, well yup parents too… But I like it here, I am a free bird!! But wait, am I missing something..?

NO, of course not! It’s a new world here :)
 

Everything in life can’t make one happy, not everything around you can be perfect. For each one us, God is there to take care of us each point.

He is somewhere there sitting on a golden throne up there. Isn’t that what we think!?

Right from our childhood, we’ve been shown several idols, saying that God resides in those. We learn to revere them. As we grow up, we hear stories about people going away to find peace, to pursue the path to God. We hear about antagonists having their own theories and headstrong atheists standing firm on their beliefs. We look around visit temples, gratified about God being invisible, yet taking care of us.

And there are points we fail to reckon that God does exist. I realize God has always been taking care, but in the form of a mother. He is not sitting up there, he is there beside us.

He is definitely taking care, but he is not invisible - that’s the reason of a mother being around. There is always something to what she says, it might not be the best elucidation, can seem too trifling a reason, an inane point, but she is immensely in love with you. And God does miracles; it’s her love which is miraculous. It cannot really be able to move mountains, but can really help you from breaking down in unfavorable moments. Her support can be the greatest solace. It’s healing…her comfort can heal hearts and mend shattered lives. Her love is assuring; even if the entire world leaves you, she’ll always be there – to love you, to comfort you, to make you smile, to have faith and look at life with a clearer vision. As I said, God sees it all…nothing escapes God’s eyes; the same power lies in a Mother…nothing about her child escapes her eye.

God loves us all, that is the reason of a Mother being so special. She is the most powerful and beautiful creation of God. She not only gives birth to a child, but stands with it right from the time it is a toddler,  teaching it to walk, to eat, to speak, and through the time when we all feel we are all grownups to live our lives our way, she teaches us how to live. It is rightly said, God created Mothers when he realized he couldn’t be present everywhere. Mothers are mothers and that’s why are so special. No matter how doting a mother is, she might as well not be given the same love in return. Nor she does go demanding or searching for an iota of love in return. She is the embodiment of true love and selfless care; Mothers deserve way more respect than what they get. This is just to make them feel special :)

Luv you Mother!!

Life, as I see it

A few months left and then I finish my graduation. Wow! I look back and keep wondering how time flies!! I still remember the petite, naughty, quiet li’l child in me playing with her kitchen set and her set of dolls….that was around 16-17 years ago. Then, I remember the studious girl burning the midnight oil through the unit tests and final exams in middle school. And then comes the high school interlude ….friends, parties, new responsibilities, tourneys, hangouts, sleepovers, discussions among buds, combined studies and the doleful thought about leaving school soon. And finally came the not-so-awaited-but-still-I’m –proud-about-it day- the Graduation Day in school or rather our formal farewell. School over, prep leave for exams and all competitive exams were on. Exams came and went, results elated parents. I was exultant, though I was quite unsure as to where I would be going. Memories make a lifetime, as I have heard, and memories, good or bad make life tremendous. School gave me innumerable memories….days which I loved back then and I still continue to treasure those sweet days captured in my memories.
Counselling sessions over. Finally, zeroed in at coming over to this place to pursue my Bachelors in Tech. In the beginning it was a bit difficult adjusting to this place. But there was something in this place which bound me to itself. From being a first year to a final year. Friends make life easier and they seriously do. I realized after being here. Being away from home, adjusting with new people, coping with studies, extra curriculars, cribbing about college rules, being lazy about having a clean room, appreciating the mess and canteen food, late night movies, sleeping in classes….friends add a spice to all of it. Finally I’m about to step away from all of this...I’m glad I have memories. Mostly good, some bad...Nay, not bad...a bit harsh- after all I have learnt to believe that everything in life happens for a reason.
Everything that’s bad or not-so-good has something good coming after it. Trust me, nothing in life is permanent. If happiness is elusive, even the bad moments do not stay long. The only thing about life is that it’s unpredictable. You might be happy for some time, while after those moments something might happen which fill tears in your eyes. They say, happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it eludes you. And it does come, when it’s the most unexpected.
It’s just one life we have, all I believe in is living it to the fullest and giving in your best whatsoever be in front of you. Life’s too short to carry a frown, leave aside the worries and grudges…fly free, live with a light heart. Inspire others, get inspired. Smile.
Life is short but beautiful, so give in the best and the best comes to you. Looking around, I feel there are people with lives messed up to a greater extent, there are people who look as they have everything and nothing but a void exists. I’m thankful, for what I have and when something goes wrong, I’m sure there are better things to happen. Optimism is the key- there just can’t be an unhappy ending, for if it is unhappy, then it just isn’t the ending. But all that’s needed is faith, confidence in oneself, some zeal and a big smile! And you see problems melting away. The power lies within you. It is something that fills you with joy. The power which lets you let go of things which wouldn’t help. And it is this strength which makes you stand tall in the times of adversities and face challenges with valor. Happiness is evasive but not long gone, being happy is our right.
So, when life gives you rocks, u still have a choice –to build a wall around yourself or to build a bridge. Life is waiting for you!! It’s never too late to appreciate its beauty and to be happy! Keep Smiling :)

And she is H O P E !!

I happened to lay my hands over an earlier issue of the Reader’s Digest. The top story covered the horrendous truth shrouding the lives of females in Cambodia. The trafficking of girls, especially minors is fueled by the bad economic condition of the families thriving on the soils of Cambodia. Not only that, Cambodia is the source, transit and destination for human trafficking. Girls are sold at as less as $10 and exploited sexually after being trafficked from the rural areas to the urban regions.

Talking about the flesh trade, every year about a million young girls are forced into the sex slavery on the pretext of giving them jobs. Human trafficking stays as the second largest organized crime in the world, which helps earn the callous souls indulging in this dirty business, a profit of $9-10 billon per year. And the victims of this trade, sad is their plight- subjects to torture, rape, physical abuse, starvations, abortions, life threats, drugs, and what not. Abysmal life. Sad indeed.

Now called Mam with reverence, Somaly Mam was a teen when she was sold into prostitution by a man who posed as her grandpa. She was made to work in a brothel along with many more young girls, and was tortured and used by many men. Initially, she was audacious enough not to go by the orders of the men who “owned her”, but the gruesome torture inflicted upon her by them made her give up. Moreover, she was made to witness the gory death of her closest friend in the brothel. The girl was shot dead in front of Somaly’s eyes.

And then, Mam took a vow. A vow, not to leave the men who changed her and many others’ lives forever. A vow, to help the other hapless souls around the world who are desperate to flee from the darkness of the sex trade.



Mam married Pierre Legros, who then helped Mam to establish a non-profit org-AFESIP. This organization helps the police in tracking and rescuing girls forced into prostitution. Mam foremost helped the police raid the brothel where she was sold and helped the other miserable girls trapped there. AFESIP helps rehabilitate and reconstruct the lives of the girls who were victims of sex slavery. Despite continued threats against her life and her family, Mam continues rescuing girls, providing them care, education and scraping way the dolorous memories of their previous lives. While she dauntlessly carried her mission, her daughter got kidnapped and she got separated from her husband. But, nothing could stop her. She managed to rescue her daughter and still continues to build lives of the girls who’ve bn dumped in the dark brothels. Today, she stands as a recipient of the Glamour Magazine’s Woman of the Year Award and was featured as a CNN Hero. Mam as she says has no fear, not even of death. The horrors of the triste life she lived in the brothel and the innate courage she nurtures, all make her relentlessly follow her mission. She is the hope of the numerous small girls and teens, who remain shadowed by the murky clouds of the dismal flesh trade. And, she is that ray of hope which would show them the light at the end of the tunnel. The light which would remove the darkness of the silence which blares in their heart. The light which would fill their lives with the colors of joy, care, smiles and freedom.